GOOD BILL HUNTING ....

Our grand-daughter Sam is four. She has warned us about Grumpy Bill! On previous occasions he had threatened to bury Tigger up to his neck in concrete, at a later date he had the nerve to masquerade as Father Christmas. Fortunately Sam saw through his cunning disguise and was able to reveal his true identity to anyone who would listen.

Sam’s father Lee invited us to a 4wd weekend camp called Frankton and we were able to meet this mastermind for ourselves. Originally he seemed to be just one of the crowd, however on closer inspection, we realised that he was wearing a hat which closely resembled the distinctive headwear of the famed seven dwarfs - could this possibly be the dwarf known as Grumpy?? We began to have our doubts - he seemed larger than your average dwarf and was sadly lacking in the HiHo HiHo department. All was revealed when a woman, known as Carol, approached him and said "you look stupid in that hat" He promptly removed the said hat and we were confronted by the Feral Grumpy Bill!!!

He appeared to be housetrained and quite friendly but seemed to think that my name was 'the old moll' and my husband should be known as 'silly old pr--k'. We thought we had better humour him as he conversed in a rather unusual language and constantly referred to others by as random selection of unflattering names. As the evening progressed, he became even more amenable to everyone, although we detected a small change in his mood when someone attempted to feed him some 'Marion Brass Band Port'.

Saturday - a new day and Grumpy Bill managed to rouse a few members of the camping pack before lunch time. After laying a few symbolic pavers, the males of the pack, accompanied by a few females and their young, went in search of wombat nests. They were led by one of the elders known as Tony and, at times, it seemed that he was trying to actually trap members of the pack in the wombat nests! Silly old Pr--k, being old and past his prime, was being protected by his eldest male offspring Lee and eventually they were able to escape without injury and return to the camp.

After feeding time, the pack returned to the hunting grounds. Silly old Pr--k needed a nap so the young buck Lee offered his protection to 'the old moll'- She would certainly need it because the leader of the pack was none other than Grumpy Bill!! The Old Moll was sporting clean knickers and was determined that they would stay that way. Despite many less than flattering comments from the feral leader, Old moll managed to retain her dignity and composure as well as her freshly laundered cottontails. She returned safely to camp with one question uppermost in her mind - why does Grumpy Bill wear camo pants - what is he trying to camouflage? Does the rest of the pack give him the sh-ts?

Thank you to all Wanderers - especially Bill

Lin & Norm Bond

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